Tribute for my beloved Mom.
Apologies for the long silence. After my recent troubles with endometriosis and a crazy Christmas season, my mom was given three to six months to live in late February.
Life took on new poignancy and many things fell by the wayside. Sadly after only two months, my mom passed away, very aptly in the early hours of Freedom Day, the 27th of April. She was many things to me, as I am sure many of you know – either through knowing me, or your own special relationship with your mother. Like all moms, her talents lie in many places. Among her many visible talents are sewing magical dresses, knitting beautiful jerseys, embroidering wonderful things and cooking delicious meals. Additionally, she was an amazing friend, a wonderful companion, a tea-totaler and very loving wife.
I had to write a speech for my mom’s memorial this past weekend. The day before Mother’s Day.
Herewith my tribute to my mom.
“I sat for a long time trying to figure out what to say today. My heart does not have the words to describe how much mom means to my husband, the boys and I. My mom is an anchoring presence throughout our marriage – even more so after the boys.
Aptly many of my best memories involve fabric, my mom’s colleagues (and friends) and the workshop. Many afternoons flipping through fabric books or helping with ironing curtains. After college – a few wonderful months working in the workshop – much antics and laughter with my mom and her business partner. And finally going fabric shopping at Mayer’s for my wedding. Standing in the sunshine as mom draped the red taffeta silk over me and both of us going ”this one”! And then I married my hubby in a red dress.
For my hubby, he will never forget the 1st day he met my mom. She stood waiting as he greeted the cats first and then gave him a big hug. Made (accepted 100%). He loved her warm and loving nature so present in all she did. From dresses to delicious Sunday lunches. As he says ”she will always be my favourite mother-in-law, even though I may be a little biased”. And those were some of their last words, words of deep love and gratitude.
Having children is hard. I am forever grateful for how present she was after our first son through my baby blues. And I was never more grateful than for the days spent with her right after our second son’s birth. She was wonderfully present and practical with both boys from day one. And how many parents are so madly wonderful to share their home with their kids and grandkid (plus one in the oven) for nearly a year?!
My mom had a wonderful ability to invest in our lives, through troubles and joys, without it ever being invasive, just present, practical and supportive. It has brought us much joy to see her (and dad) so involved in our boy’s lives. From ridiculously long creche concerts (I won’t go there) to regular family gatherings for birthdays and many Christmas’s at Jonkershoek.
I am grateful to her for instilling her sense of youth and unconditional hope in me. She always reminded me to find joy in the little things. Flowers from our eldest, daily backrubs for our youngest, a fat cat overflowing a pot plant and starry night skies. All of these and more give me a sense of wonder and hope.
Our boys have been saying they will see granny in their dreams and I am glad. She had a wonderful relationship with both of them, especially our eldest. I have felt her presence calming me even why I cry into the dishwasher this last while. My hubby has been wondering why I am so keen to do the dishes of late.
But God gave me a wonderful revelation in March while I was reading of the restoration and it gave me great peace about mom’s passing, even before it happened.
“Nothing is ever truly lost”.
So while I may not be able to pick up the phone and text my mom, which I frequently find myself doing, I know she is with us. Finding joy in all the things we do, comforting us in our broken moments, comforting us in our dreams and awaiting our joyful reuniting.”
And that is what I said.
I hope it brings joy, laughter and maybe some tears to all who knew her and maybe solace to those of you who are walking this path with me.